13:1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. In the course of time David’s son Amnon fell madly in love with her.

 

While David was running around in the wilderness from the armies of Saul, David met a beautiful girl in the foreign city of Geshur. Her name was Maacah. She was the daughter of the King of Geshur. David was already married to Michal, but he took Maacah as a second wife. Bigamy was never a violation of the Mosaic Law, but God’s original plan was one husband and one wife becoming “one flesh.” Maacah had two beautiful children whom she named Absalom and Tamar. Absalom means “father of peace.” Tamar means “palm tree.” Absalom was the third son of David.

 

Amnon was David’s oldest son by the wife of Ahinoam. Everyone in Israel expected Amnon to be Israel’s next king. 

 

Unmarried men and women were separated in Jewish society. They never met in private, but they did meet in public settings. Since Amnon and Tamar were half-brothers and sisters, then they would see each other often in family activities. 

 

13:2 But Amnon became frustrated because he was so lovesick over his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and to Amnon it seemed out of the question to do anything to her. 

 

Although marrying half-sisters was accepted in many ancient societies, it was a violation of the Mosaic Law.

 

13:3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very crafty man. 

 

Jonadab was a nephew of David and a cousin of Amnon. He was not a person of high morality. This means that Amnon was showing respect with men of low morals. Like Eli and Samuel, David was so busy being king, that he did not spend enough time with his children. As a parent, it is important to not value one’s career over one’s children.

 

13:4 He asked Amnon, “Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed every morning? Can’t you tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar the sister of my brother Absalom.” 

 

Amnon was the oldest son, prince of Israel, and expected to be the next king. He could have anything that he wanted. Why was he so depressed?

 

13:5 Jonadab replied to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes in to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can fix some food for me. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I can watch. Then I will eat from her hand.’ ” 

 

Jonadab gave devious counsel to Amnon. His strategy was to have Amnon feign sickness so that he could gain an intimate audience with Tamar.

 

13:6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. When the king came in to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can make a couple of cakes in my sight. Then I will eat from her hand.” 

 

Amnon began to execute the plan. He pretended to be sick and asked for an audience with his half-sister.

 

13:7 So David sent Tamar to the house saying, “Please go to the house of Amnon your brother and prepare some food for him.” 

 

David made the request to his daughter, not suspecting any foul play.

 

13:8 So Tamar went to the house of Amnon her brother, who was lying down. She took the dough, kneaded it, made some cakes while he watched, and baked them.

 

Tamar was most likely flattered that her sick brother wanted to see her.

 

13:9 But when she took the pan and set it before him, he refused to eat. Instead Amnon said, “Get everyone out of here!” So everyone left.

 

Amnon asked to be left alone with Tamar. This request went against the social norm of the culture. Unmarried men and women were usually kept separate from each other, except in public gatherings. However, the servants would not dare question the orders of the prince of Israel. He was the oldest son of David and scheduled to become Israel’s next king. Tamar should have refused this request.

 

13:10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the cakes into the bedroom; then I will eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes that she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon in the bedroom. 

 

Amnon turned this private session into a more intimate session.

 

13:11 As she brought them to him to eat, he grabbed her and said to her, “Come on! Get in bed with me, my sister!”

 

Amnon asked his half-sister to become active in an incestuous relationship. Incest was prohibited by the Mosaic Law. It was a capital offense.

 

13:12 But she said to him, “No, my brother! Don’t humiliate me! This just isn’t done in Israel! Don’t do this foolish thing! 

 

Tamar resisted the rape by commanding Amnon not to do such a foolish thing. Once this act was discovered, then it would remove Amnon from becoming the next king of Israel. It would force Amnon into marrying his half-sister. 

 

According to the Mosaic Law, a woman was to scream during a rape situation. If she screamed, then she was considered innocent. If she did not scream, then she was considered as consenting to the affair. If she screamed and there was no one around to hear her screams, then she was declared innocent. 

 

13:13 How could I ever be rid of my humiliation? And you would be considered one of the fools in Israel! Just speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.”

 

Marriage between half siblings was not allowed by the Mosaic Law. However, Tamar was desperate and attempting to escape the dangerous position in which she was placed. This was a foolish act by Amnon, because he was throwing away the throne of Israel and would cause bloodshed to infiltrate the family.

 

13:14 But he refused to listen to her. He overpowered her and humiliated her by raping her.

 

Amnon refused to listen to his half-sister’s wise counsel. He violated the Mosaic Law by raping and humiliating his sister.

 

13:15 Then Amnon greatly despised her. His disdain toward her surpassed the love he had previously felt toward her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and leave!” 

 

Amnon made a big mistake. His throne, life, and reputation were now in jeopardy. He lusted after his sister, but he did not live with her. He raped her and demanded her to leave.

 

13:16 But she said to him, “No I won’t, for sending me away now would be worse than what you did to me earlier!” But he refused to listen to her. 

 

Amnon sending Tamar away was insinuating that Tamar was involved willingly in the affair.

 

13:17 He called his personal attendant and said to him, “Take this woman out of my sight and lock the door behind her!” 

 

This action made it look like Tamar had done something wrong.

 

13:18 (Now she was wearing a long robe, for this is what the king’s virgin daughters used to wear.) So Amnon’s attendant removed her and bolted the door behind her. 

 

Tamar wore a special robe which designated her as the virgin daughter of King David.

 

13:19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went on her way, wailing as she went. 

 

After Tamar’s rape and rejection, she did four things. First, she poured ashes on her head as a sign of mourning. Second, her torn robe symbolized that her virgin life had ended. Third, the hand on the head meant exile and banishment. Fourth, the crying demonstrated that she viewed herself as a walking corpse. In her own eyes and in the eyes of society, she was as good as dead. Her life was over.

 

13:20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was Amnon your brother with you? Now be quiet, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take it so seriously!” Tamar, devastated, lived in the house of her brother Absalom.

 

Absalom always wanted to remove his two oldest brothers from the inheritance of the throne. The rape of his sister gave him the opportunity to plan out their removal. Tamar moved into the house of Absalom, living an unmarried and childless life.  Absalom became her natural protector. He was also her avenger of blood. He began to plan his revenge.

 

13:21 Now King David heard about all these things and was very angry.

 

According to the Mosaic Law, Amnon should have been executed by stoning. David was the king who was in charge of enforcing the law.

 

13:22 But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either bad or good, yet Absalom hated Amnon because he had humiliated his sister Tamar.

 

Just as Amnon hated his half-sister Tamar, Absalom also hated his half-brother Amnon.

 

13:23 Two years later Absalom’s sheepshearers were in Baal Hazor, near Ephraim. Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 

 

Baal Hazor was a Benjaminite village, located about twelve miles northeast of Jerusalem. Absalom hosted a feast to celebrate the success of his shepherding business. Absalom invited all of his brothers to the feast.

 

13:24 Then Absalom went to the king and said, “My shearers have begun their work. Let the king and his servants go with me.” 

 

Absalom also invited the royal court.

 

13:25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son. We shouldn’t all go. We shouldn’t burden you in that way.” Though Absalom pressed him, the king was not willing to go. Instead, David blessed him. 

 

The royal court would be too large for Absalom to support.

 

13:26 Then Absalom said, “If you will not go, then let my brother Amnon go with us.” The king replied to him, “Why should he go with you?” 

 

Absalom requested that Amnon be the guest of honor in place of his father David. David suspected impure motives, so he questioned his son about the invitation. 

 

13:27 But when Absalom pressed him, he sent Amnon and all the king’s sons along with him.

 

Evidently, David refused the request. After being pressured by Absalom, he allowed Amnon to attend. Possibly, David hoped his sons would heal their differences.

 

13:28 Absalom instructed his servants, “Look! When Amnon is drunk and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ kill him then and there. Don’t fear! Is it not I who have given you these instructions? Be strong and courageous!”

 

Just as David killed Uriah through his servants, Absalom killed Amnon through his servants. 

 

13:29 So Absalom’s servants did to Amnon exactly what Absalom had instructed. Then all the king’s sons got up; each one rode away on his mule and fled.

 

Because David committed adultery and murdered Uriah, the prophet Nathan predicted that David’s family would die by the sword. David gave his own judgment of being paid back four-fold. Amnon was the second of David’s four sons who would die for this sin.

 

Mules were ridden by the royal family. The king’s sons ran away, because it appeared to be a royal purging of David’s royal family line. Royal purgings was the standard operating procedure of secular kings.

 

13:30 While they were still on their way, the following report reached David: “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons; not one of them is left!” 

 

There were no televisions, telephones, or internet in that day, so communication was not as accurate. as it is in modern times. This report was an exaggeration of the event. 

 

13:31 Then the king stood up and tore his garments and lay down on the ground. All his servants were standing there with torn garments as well. 

 

The royal court grieved the loss of David’s sons.

 

13:32 Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah, said, “My lord should not say, ‘They have killed all the young men who are the king’s sons.’ For only Amnon is dead. This is what Absalom has talked about from the day that Amnon humiliated his sister Tamar. 

 

Jonadab was Absalom’s cousin and David’s nephew. He knew in advance of the murder attempt upon Amnon. He most likely welcomed the idea, because he would like to see his favorite cousin as king.

 

13:33 Now don’t let my lord the king be concerned about the report that has come saying, ‘All the king’s sons are dead.’ It is only Amnon who is dead.” 

 

Jonadab assured the king that the report was most likely false.

 

13:34 In the meantime Absalom fled. When the servant who was the watchman looked up, he saw many people coming from the west on a road beside the hill. 

 

If Absalom stayed in Israel, he would be convicted of murder. If he sought asylum in one of the cities of refuge, then they would offer him no sanctuary. Therefore, he fled and left the nation of Israel as a criminal. Once he left, there was no hope of returning.

 

13:35 Jonadab said to the king, “Look! The king’s sons have come! It’s just as I said!”

 

Jonadab reported to King David that the report was false. David’s sons were returning to Jerusalem on mules.

 

13:36 Just as he finished speaking, the king’s sons arrived, wailing and weeping. The king and all his servants wept loudly as well. 

 

The bloodshed of Nathan’s prophecy had now begun in the family of David. Two sons of David were dead. Two more were to die as well.

 

13:37 But Absalom fled and went to King Talmai son of Ammihud of Geshur. And David grieved over his son every day. 

 

Absalom’s mother was Maacah. She was a daughter of the king of Geshur. Absalom needed asylum, so he escaped to the foreign kingdom of his grandfather. 

 

David made a mistake in marrying this foreign woman. He married this woman during his lapse of faith when he withdrew from the land after begin persecuted by King Saul. Maacah bore the king two very beautiful children. Apparently, David did not discipline Absalom very much as a child. Absalom was a wild boy who was the son of a pagan and a Bedouin. He was spoiled by the luxury of royalty. His father was too busy with state affairs to spend quality time with his sons.

 

13:38 After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he remained there for three years. 

 

Absalom lived among the Bedouin community of his grandfather for three years.

 

13:39 The king longed to go to Absalom, for he had since been consoled over the death of Amnon. 

 

David wanted to see his son again, but he made no action to welcome him back.